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View Full Version : Things Andre Johnson would never do.


Hooston Texan
09-22-2009, 01:35 PM
Not that AJ needs an appreciation thread on a Texans message board, but I just cannot believe our luck in having a WR who is (1) the best in the business and (2) the only elite WR who is not nursing at least a mildly dysfunctional personality (shyness does not count). Until this weekend, I thought Larry Fitzgerald was also that kind of WR/guy, but now he has gone and thrown a wrench into his relationship with his borderline HOF QB.

So, in AJ's honor, I'd like to start this thread to document the stunts that have been pulled by other WRs that we can pretty safely assume will not happen with our #80 (e.g. from the previous decade: "Andre Johnson would never murder his pregnant girlfriend and then be found hiding in the trunk of a car with a bottle for his own pee."). I can think of about 20 examples involving a certain ex-Cowboy/Eagle/Niner wideout alone, but I'll start with the one from this past weekend:

ANDRE JOHNSON WOULD NEVER . . .
complain about not getting the ball enough during or after a game where his QB completed 24 of 26 passes for 240 yards and 2 TDs in a blowout win.

HJam72
09-22-2009, 01:38 PM
I'm waiting to find out that during the brawl it was AJ who ripped Finnegan's helmet off and began banging his head against the bench. LOL. :jk:

TexansFanatic
09-22-2009, 01:39 PM
Andre Johnson would never:

Mime pulling down his pants and mooning the audience after scoring a TD during an away game.

GlassHalfFull
09-22-2009, 01:39 PM
have props set aside for an endzone celebration.

HJam72
09-22-2009, 01:39 PM
Andre Johnson would never:

Mime pulling down his pants and mooning the audience after scoring a TD during an away game.

That's a shame because he really should've done it the other day.

Dan B.
09-22-2009, 01:44 PM
write "Pay Me Rick" on his shoes during a blowout loss in the first game of the season after skipping preseason and training camp.

DexmanC
09-22-2009, 01:50 PM
Skip training camp

lol

HJam72
09-22-2009, 01:52 PM
Fumble.

HJam72
09-22-2009, 01:53 PM
Refuse me a large loan. :thinking:

TheIronDuke
09-22-2009, 01:54 PM
Change his last name to Ochocero.

JDizzle
09-22-2009, 01:54 PM
Andre Johnson has never lined up uncovered, even by the worst defenses he has faced.

Dan B.
09-22-2009, 01:55 PM
Change his last name to Ochocero.

:rofl:

gtexan02
09-22-2009, 01:56 PM
AJ would never spike the ball out of bounds in celebration BEFORE crossing the goalline

Double Barrel
09-22-2009, 02:01 PM
AJ would never apologize before the season starts for all the stupid showboating he's planned for every TD.

HJam72
09-22-2009, 02:01 PM
Andre Johnson has never lined up uncovered, even by the worst defenses he has faced.

Yeah, we gotta do something about that. Andre Ochenta y uno. That'll fool 'em.

TexansMVP
09-22-2009, 02:06 PM
Until this weekend, I thought Larry Fitzgerald was also that kind of WR/guy, but now he has gone and thrown a wrench into his relationship with his borderline HOF QB.

I didn't hear about that. Anyone got a link to the article or anything?

Playoffs
09-22-2009, 02:08 PM
Andre Johnson never does push-ups.....he pushes the earth down.

HOU-TEX
09-22-2009, 02:17 PM
Andre Johnson never wipes his ass with paper.............he wipes it with a Finnegan.

4Texans
09-22-2009, 02:18 PM
I didn't hear about that. Anyone got a link to the article or anything?

It has more to do with Fitzgeralds' brother twittering during their latest game, which the Cards won.

Hooston Texan
09-22-2009, 02:30 PM
It has more to do with Fitzgeralds' brother twittering during their latest game, which the Cards won.

Here's the initial story from PFT. http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/09/21/friction-between-fitzgerald-warner/

To me, the controversy arises not from Marcus Fitzgerald's tweets about his own opinions; instead, it comes from those tweets that reference either messages or conversation in which Larry F. was venting to him about not getting the ball. Now, it is quite likely that LF#11 did not know, at the time, his brother was broadcasting those messages/discussions on twitter, but it seems a little skeevy to me for a WR to complain to anyone about a game like the Cards had Sunday. Especially at halftime if one of Marcus' tweets is to be believed.

Porky
09-22-2009, 02:31 PM
Andre Johnson would never light up the Tenn meatballs to the tune of 150+ yards and two TD's and make Finnegan his personal *****.

Oh wait, yes he would! :spit:

texanhead08
09-22-2009, 03:33 PM
Andre Johnson would never light up the Tenn meatballs to the tune of 150+ yards and two TD's and make Finnegan his personal *****.

Oh wait, yes he would! :spit:



He would do this as many times as he had also.

Goatcheese
09-22-2009, 03:39 PM
Andre Johnson would never light up the Tenn meatballs to the tune of 150+ yards and two TD's and make Finnegan his personal *****.

Oh wait, yes he would! :spit:

The sacrifices AJ makes for the team. :texflag:

swyyyguy
09-22-2009, 03:44 PM
andre johnson is a model nfl player!

steds
09-22-2009, 03:46 PM
Refuse me a large loan. :thinking:
Haha.


AJ would never cry like a little ***** in a press conference.

TEXANS84
09-22-2009, 03:48 PM
Would never pick up Vince Young if he was hitch-hiking

Yankee_In_TX
09-22-2009, 03:49 PM
Would never pick up Vince Young if he was hitch-hiking.

Must spread rep.

Double Barrel
09-22-2009, 03:49 PM
AJ would never cry for his QB in a press conference. :D

Hooston Texan
09-22-2009, 03:57 PM
Andre Johnson would never sucker-punch two different teammates on two different occasions.

Hardcore Texan
09-22-2009, 03:58 PM
AJ would never shoot himself in the leg at da club.

Goatcheese
09-22-2009, 03:59 PM
AJ would never stomp on a defenseless player's head, though he would stomp on their dreams.

gtexan02
09-22-2009, 04:01 PM
Refuse to sign his rookie contract in hopes of being drafted the following year.

Hardcore Texan
09-22-2009, 04:01 PM
Here's the initial story from PFT. http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/09/21/friction-between-fitzgerald-warner/

To me, the controversy arises not from Marcus Fitzgerald's tweets about his own opinions; instead, it comes from those tweets that reference either messages or conversation in which Larry F. was venting to him about not getting the ball. Now, it is quite likely that LF#11 did not know, at the time, his brother was broadcasting those messages/discussions on twitter, but it seems a little skeevy to me for a WR to complain to anyone about a game like the Cards had Sunday. Especially at halftime if one of Marcus' tweets is to be believed.


Marcus was just butt hurt because Larry was starting for him on his fantasy team.......:specnatz:

GuerillaBlack
09-22-2009, 04:08 PM
Chuck Norris would never harm Andre Johnson.










yeah, i did it wrong, so what

HTown2ATX
09-22-2009, 04:44 PM
Andre Johnson never wipes his ass with paper.............he wipes it with a Finnegan.


LMAO! Rep for that!!

:bender:

False Start
09-22-2009, 05:35 PM
Andre is so bad, he ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one. :cool:

Thorn
09-22-2009, 05:42 PM
Andre is so bad, he ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one. :cool:

LOL'sville. Rep.

BrandonLwowski
09-22-2009, 05:51 PM
Chuck Knorris has nightmares of Andre Johnson!!!!:pirate:

Double Barrel
09-22-2009, 06:13 PM
AJ would never wear a fake HoF jacket on the sideline of a game like a gigantic chump.

Texan_Bill
09-22-2009, 07:14 PM
Andre Johnson never wipes his ass with paper.............he wipes it with a Finnegan.

Repped...... And maybe my sig over at gotits.com. :thinking:

awtysst
09-22-2009, 07:17 PM
would never:
1. run and finance a dog fighting operation.

2. get VD treatment under the name Ron Mexico

3. be Cheddar Bob

BSofA04
09-22-2009, 07:21 PM
Andre Johnson would never take his shirt off at a sausage party.

Carr Bombed
09-22-2009, 07:41 PM
Andre would never give HIMSELF a dumbass nickname like "Fred-ex", especially if he was just some scrub no name WR on his way out of the league.

Come to think of it.... Andre would never just be some scrub no name WR on his way out of the league. LOL :)

BattleRedToro
09-22-2009, 08:46 PM
Andre Johnson would never drop the game winning touchdown in the endzone at the end of a last chance drive in the 4th Quarter on Monday Night Football against the Colts.

mexican_texan
09-22-2009, 09:38 PM
Andre will do anything for love.

But he won't do that.

Wolf
09-22-2009, 09:46 PM
Andre will do anything for love.

But he won't do that.

for a moment I thought you were going to AJ (rick) roll us
:pirate:

Goatcheese
09-22-2009, 10:03 PM
Mario Williams wears Andre Johnson pajamas.

mexican_texan
09-22-2009, 10:38 PM
for a moment I thought you were going to AJ (rick) roll us
:pirate:
Andre will never give you up. Andre will never run and desert you.

Unless you're the Irish Redneck.

TheIronDuke
09-23-2009, 11:19 PM
Plant Texans fans into a rival stadium so he could leap into the crowd without a problem.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Chad-Ochocinco-planted-those-Bengals-fans-in-the?urn=nfl,191579

Brisco_County
09-24-2009, 05:05 AM
Andre would never vote Obama...

...Because Obama votes for him.

GuerillaBlack
09-24-2009, 09:44 AM
Andre would never beat the hell out of Cortland Finne...oh wait!

TEXANS84
09-24-2009, 09:59 AM
Andre Johnson would never appear on VH1 in a "I love the 80's" video just because of his number.

Hooston Texan
09-24-2009, 02:46 PM
Accuse his quarterback of having secret meetings with another receiver for the purpose of freezing him out of the offense.

barrett
09-24-2009, 03:03 PM
Andre Johnson would never drop the game winning touchdown in the endzone at the end of a last chance drive in the 4th Quarter on Monday Night Football against the Colts.

Dude, seriously! I remember having that exact same thought! He's not clutch. GInn cost us a one up on the Colts!

This season more than ever every loss the tacks and Colts get it critical. I'm almost upset I won't get to watch the tacks v Jets game! I can't remember what I'll be doing instead but I won't get to see it.

euro-Texan
09-24-2009, 03:04 PM
When it rains, Andre doesn't get wet, the rain gets Dre'd.

Texan4Ever
09-24-2009, 07:43 PM
Andre Johnson doesn't catch the football, the football finds him.

brakos82
09-26-2009, 01:17 AM
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb23/brakos82/Andre2-150.gif

Wait, nevermind. Wrong thread.

b0ng
09-26-2009, 10:24 AM
Andre Johnson would make sure Cortland Finnegan was hydrated before catching a TD.

Hooston Texan
10-07-2009, 02:31 PM
Probably bad form to bump my own thread, but this was too good not to add.

Andre Johnson would never . . .

assault a member of LeBron James' entourage.