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mexican_texan
01-21-2009, 10:45 AM
http://www.fullfiguredfella.com/

Scott Jackson's website on the fight for the rights of full figured fellas.


I have learned that my readers have a short attention span because they are always seconds away from their next meal. So, with that in mind, I have compiled some of my stats.

Name - Scott Jackson
Aliases - Rampage, Big Love
Dimensions - 6'5" 300 lbs.
26% body fat 73% lean muscle mass and 1% shrapnel (18 surgical screws)
Occupations - Houston Texan and Lobbyist for the Big and Tall
NFL career highlights -

* fastest offensive lineman at 2004 NFL combine
* tested for performance enhancers after posting a blazing 4.94 (results proved that my anabolic levels were naturally superior)
* I was so awesome that all 32 teams passed on me during the draft - but my man JG recognized talent and signed me as an undrafted free agent
* spent a year on the p squad with the Bucs before being elevated to the active roster
* one of 39 undrafted free agents in the '04 NFL rookie class to make a roster
* helped the Buccaneers win the NFC south in '05 by cheering on the sidelines
* picked up by the Texans in '06 after dominating them in a preseason game while with the Bucs
* signed ten different contracts in five years
* over the last five seasons I've made more babies (3) than plays
* commonly referred to as "the greatest player never to play"
* I become a free agent this offseason so that means $$$$$$ (the market is hot for reserve offensive lineman)

I waited until now to disclose my true identity because I was nervous about how my campaign for equal rights would be viewed by the all the teams bidding for my services. I admit that this a radical campaign against "the man" but someone needs to stand up for the rotund. I'm tired of living in little people's shadows.

I also thought that this would be a great opportunity to let GMs across the league know that my foot is healing beautifully from the unprecedented surgery. I know a lot of you have been wondering about my progress. There is only one way to describe it - rehabilitation domination.

So all the GMs (with enough salary cap space) have the opportunity to lock down a hidden gem. Looking for the final piece of the puzzle? You got it right here. My presence on the Texans' IR over the last two seasons have produced back to back non-losing seasons. If you want me, you can talk to my agent, Don "the Dragon" Yee. Please don't waste our time with small offers.

Errant Hothy
01-21-2009, 10:56 AM
Holy hell, is that funny!

Rep for finding that is in order, but I must spread some around first.

Never quit. People are going to tell you to be smaller because they can't be big themselves. They'll tell you - 'you're too tall, your biceps are too massive, your trapezius is too prominent, your quadriceps are too spectacular.' Don't listen to them. Just continue to expand.

gtexan02
01-21-2009, 12:04 PM
Holy hell, is that funny!

Rep for finding that is in order, but I must spread some around first.

Got him for you. That was hillarious!!

Texans_Chick
01-21-2009, 12:09 PM
How did you even find this????

GlassHalfFull
01-21-2009, 12:12 PM
How did you even find this????

Never underestimate the ability of a teenager to find obscure stuff on the internet.

Great find.

Shaft75
01-21-2009, 12:33 PM
That is great!!!

I had a similar idea for something like this awhile ago. I wear XXL shirts, mainly because of my broad shoulders, and a little because of my insane appetite or my wife's culinary skills. It seems like all of the nice clothes are like one size too small. Also, I love the Lacoste brand but their largest size on me is one size too small.

Good for you Scott! Stand up for the big guys!:wild:

Mr. White
01-21-2009, 12:39 PM
How did you even find this????

I heard Eric Winston talking about this website on his 610 show last week.

TimeKiller
01-21-2009, 12:52 PM
I got his autograph at the Meet the Texans thing last year....

powerfuldragon
01-21-2009, 12:58 PM
it won't let me rep MT...

DiehardChris
01-21-2009, 01:24 PM
I heard Winston talking about it too - I instantly went to the site and started reading. Jackson's a really funny cat. Heh.

imatexan
01-21-2009, 02:24 PM
Rep! this is funny!

mexican_texan
01-21-2009, 11:42 PM
How did you even find this????
The Eric Winston show is chock full of interesting facts. Including this little tidbit:

Eric Winston credits late season finishes to the strenght and conditioning coach that was fired. They never did any heavy lifting during the season and aimed to be at their strongest in week 10, when players around the league are already starting to fatigue.

76Texan
01-21-2009, 11:52 PM
The Eric Winston show is chock full of interesting facts. Including this little tidbit:

Eric Winston credits late season finishes to the strenght and conditioning coach that was fired. They never did any heavy lifting during the season and aimed to be at their strongest in week 10, when players around the league are already starting to fatigue.

You're good man! http://www.texanstalk.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

Errant Hothy
01-22-2009, 08:59 AM
The Eric Winston show is chock full of interesting facts. Including this little tidbit:

Eric Winston credits late season finishes to the strenght and conditioning coach that was fired. They never did any heavy lifting during the season and aimed to be at their strongest in week 10, when players around the league are already starting to fatigue.

Could that be why we got physically dominate early in the season? If so then I'm not sure of the intellegence in that.

mexican_texan
01-22-2009, 10:18 AM
Could that be why we got physically dominate early in the season? If so then I'm not sure of the intellegence in that.
Well, he got fired, didn't he? Last season, though, we were at our best early on against Carolina and Kansas City

Texans_Chick
01-29-2009, 09:25 AM
You can't have enough Triple F. I did a fun interview with him to help spread his message. Viva the revolution!!!!

A Texan offensive linemen leads a revolution for the 'Full Figured Fella' (http://blogs.chron.com/texanschick/2009/01/a_texan_offensive_linemen_rev.html)

Has a tiny amount of Texans information but mostly is about pimping his well written and designed blog.

:fans:

GlassHalfFull
01-29-2009, 04:54 PM
I was just reading his blog and he has a shout out for Texans Talk.

http://www.fullfiguredfella.com/2009/01/5xl-shirts-at-gas-stations.html

On a side note, I'd like to welcome Texans Talk to the revolution. Let us unite our voices and shout until stores carry our sizes.

Texans_Chick
01-29-2009, 08:45 PM
I was just reading his blog and he has a shout out for Texans Talk.

http://www.fullfiguredfella.com/2009/01/5xl-shirts-at-gas-stations.html

Yeah, I saw that. It's a pretty hilarious post too.

mexican_texan
01-29-2009, 10:58 PM
Which fuels to the fire that players visit here. Hi Eric! Can you hook me up with a jersey? They don't sell #73 jerseys anywhere

Texans_Chick
01-30-2009, 04:45 PM
Nice (http://www.fullfiguredfella.com/2009/01/triple-f-sets-internet-on-fire.html):



* Second, Stephanie Stradley, aka Texans Chick, set the internet on fire yesterday when she declared her unwavering support for our people. After reading her article, I decided to name her captain over the newest division of our army - "The Furious Femmes Fatales"

Excellent. He put a picture of Demi Moore in her GI Jane stuff with the post. Hahahaha. All hail Triple F!

:texans chick:

JayCee
03-07-2009, 06:48 AM
classic

from pft


WE’VE FOUND THE SOURCE OF THE PFT MELTDOWN
Posted by Mike Florio on March 7, 2009, 5:57 a.m.

Due to a bout of Saturday early morning insomnia, I’ve had a chance to work back through some of the many e-mails from the past couple of days that heretofore have gone ignored.

In one such e-mail was the clue for which we’ve been diligently searching — the shred of evidence we needed to pinpoint the cause of the February 27 implosion (or explosion, or both) of the site.

The culprit was Scotty “Big Love” Jackson, a free-agent offensive lineman with the Texans, who spent the 2008 season on injured reserve.

Writes Jackson, on his “Full Figured Fella” blog, as to the events of February 27: “I signed that day. It wasn’t reported on ProFootballTalk.com because Florio’s crappy servers exploded due to the overwhelming number of my fans that flooded the web dying to know where Big Love is going to sign.”

Big Love also has a photo of our Big Bang.

So there you have it. The Big Love Brigade brought us down.

And, actually, Big Love is still looking for some big love from one of 32 NFL teams. To date, however, his Big Love has been unrequited.

In his free time, Big Love has come up with a big idea for improving the morale of the nation.

“The best part about being a free agent these days is that our country is full of free agents right now,” Jackson writes. “It has been easy to find other free agents to watch daytime TV with me. The credit crunch has flooded the market with dudes like me waiting for a phone call. I propose that Obama give America hope by [eliminating] the word ‘unemployment’ from our vocabulary and replacing it with ‘free agency.’ This change will fill America with hopes of $100 million contracts.”

Here’s hoping that Big Love gets his $100 million contract (or something a bit smaller) soon.