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View Full Version : The Official Don't Pull Chester Pitts Thread.


powerfuldragon
09-15-2006, 03:48 PM
I've come up with a list of reasons why Chester Pitts streak should remain unbroken:

1. He's my hero
2. He's number 69
3. He's huge
4. He went to California Academy of Mathematics and Science so he's probably smarter than you.
5. CAMS didn't have a football team, so he threw the shot put and the discus.
6. He was on the javelin team, but he had to quit because Hawaiians were quickly becoming an endangered species.
7. I heard he once ate an entire Volkswagen Rabbit just because it was in his way.
8. He lived in or near LA, so odds are he probably knows doctor dre or at least snoop dogg.
9. He was originally drafted by the astros (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v15/TheKingOfBums/chester_pitts.jpg), but he decided to go to the texans instead because he's cool like that.
10. Actually, the real reason he didn't join the astros is because hank aaron personally asked him not to. He likes being the all time home run leader.
11. I heard chester bats .600
12. Reliant stadium was originally built to be his studio apartment, but then he saw the quality of the turf in the a-dome, and took pity on the texans. He's THAT generous.
13. His son is Chester III. That's cool.
14. He's been in on every down in Texans history. That's huge.
15. The first jersey the texans retire should be his.
16. He walked across the entire amazon basin with nothing but a machete and beautiful women just to save a wounded leopard.

the wonger need food
09-15-2006, 03:50 PM
If Chester "The Drivekiller" Pitts isn't up to the task then Weary should start. Winning is more important than marketing right now.

V Man
09-15-2006, 03:51 PM
I've come up with a list of reasons why Chester Pitts streak should remain unbroken:

1. He's my hero
2. He's number 69
3. He's huge
4. He went to California Academy of Mathematics and Science so he's probably smarter than you.
5. CAMS didn't have a football team, so he threw the shot put and the discus.
6. He was on the javelin team, but he had to quit because Hawaiians were quickly becoming an endangered species.
7. I heard he once ate an entire Volkswagen Rabbit just because it was in his way.
8. He lived in or near LA, so odds are he probably knows doctor dre or at least snoop dogg.
9. He was originally drafted by the astros (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v15/TheKingOfBums/chester_pitts.jpg), but he decided to go to the texans instead because he's cool like that.
10. Actually, the real reason he didn't join the astros is because hank aaron personally asked him not to. He likes being the all time home run leader.
11. I heard chester bats .600
12. Reliant stadium was originally built to be his studio apartment, but then he saw the quality of the turf in the a-dome, and took pity on the texans. He's THAT generous.
13. His son is Chester III. That's cool.
14. He's been in on every down in Texans history. That's huge.
15. The first jersey the texans retire should be his.
16. He walked across the entire amazon basin with nothing but a machete and beautiful women just to save a wounded leopard.

And he told me when I met him that the Texans should sign me up. (I'm 6'7" & 350). Nothing like stroking a fans ego, to help build up team support.

Dime
09-15-2006, 03:52 PM
and he created the internet

thunderkyss
09-15-2006, 03:53 PM
If Chester "The Drivekiller" Pitts isn't up to the task then Weary should start. Winning is more important than marketing right now.

Weary's already starting, so it's either Pitts, or McKinney......

I wonder how Winston would do at RG.....

the wonger need food
09-15-2006, 03:59 PM
Weary's already starting, so it's either Pitts, or McKinney

Where did you get this information?

According to the Chronicle, Pitts and Weary are sharing reps at Left Guard and McKinney will start at Right Guard.

TEXANS84
09-15-2006, 04:04 PM
and he created the internet

Vince Young created the internet.

HOU-TEX
09-15-2006, 04:06 PM
Vince Young created the internet.

Vince Young created the Wonderlic....wait..is that right?:wacko:

powerfuldragon
09-15-2006, 04:09 PM
Vince Young created the Wonderlic....wait..is that right?:wacko:
chester pitts did so well on the wonderlic he broke it.

Hervoyel
09-15-2006, 04:16 PM
Vince Young created the Wonderlic....wait..is that right?:wacko:

The internet came about as a side effect of Vince Young creating the wonderlic. As he stood there working on the new test he paused briefly to consider how much better it would be if you could take it from anywhere you wanted and if it could be graded by someone else who did not have to be at the same location you were taking it from. Just then he paused to juke a defender (who's name was not worth remembering) and throw a touchdown pass.

When he got to the sideline he explained the concept of the internet to his coach but the coach didn't understand him.

He'd never had a worldwide, publicly accessible network of interconnected computers that exchanged data through packet switching as a standard protocol explained to him by an eight year old before.

He was understandably taken by surprise.

It's a little known fact that Vince came up with the idea for Magnetic Resonance Imaging when the team stopped for ice cream that day after the win.


Oh yeah, and even though I think the world of Chester Pitts I say best two guards play and that's just the way it's got to be.

Divebomb
09-15-2006, 04:22 PM
Chester has given up more than enough missed blocks against Philly so if he gets te boot then oh well!

powerfuldragon
09-15-2006, 04:23 PM
you people take this thread too seriously.

Porky
09-15-2006, 04:24 PM
I thought Al Gore invented the internet? idonno:

jerek
09-15-2006, 04:37 PM
As much as I think Spencer will one day be a great tackle, I still like Chester Pitts at LT. I thought he did very well, and he owned Dwight Freeney. I still haven't quite figured out why our coaches want him at G.

thunderkyss
09-15-2006, 05:11 PM
Where did you get this information?

According to the Chronicle, Pitts and Weary are sharing reps at Left Guard and McKinney will start at Right Guard.

oh... I haven't read that.

Before the Philly game, Kubiak made it sound like the three gaurds would all be interchangable, with Weary playing either spot. I figured he meant for the entire season.....

In my reply, I was referring to Weary starting last week... didn't know they had sunday's starting lineup already.

Hervoyel
09-15-2006, 05:13 PM
It's entirely a square peg/round peg thing I believe. The coaches look at him and at film of him and they see a guy who could be, literally a great guard. This is the second staff in a row now that's done it. They know he can play LT but they think based on what they can see, that he'll be a Pro Bowl LG. At best they seem to think he'll be a "pretty good" LT.

I know one thing. I want to see them stick with their lineup one way or the other. It hasn't been doing Chester any favors moving him back and forth over there.

TEXANRED
09-15-2006, 05:35 PM
Vince Young created the internet.
No.

Vince Young created sun light.

texan279
09-15-2006, 06:10 PM
No.

Vince Young created sun light.

There is no such thing as global warming. Vince Young was cold, so he turned the sun up.

hot pickle
09-15-2006, 06:19 PM
i gotta say it

Chester pitts is the only man in the world that can beat up Chuck Norris

Double Barrel
09-15-2006, 06:58 PM
Superman wears Chester Pitts underwear...and they are really too big for that skinny white dude.

mexican_texan
09-15-2006, 07:07 PM
Look up Jonas Seawright on the Giants' forums. Over 100 pages(last time I checked) and classic jokes. He's a backup DT, but he can bench press the planet 50 times with one pinkie while eating Jared from Subway.

michaelm
09-15-2006, 07:47 PM
Despite years of calculations, scientists still cannot prove that light can move faster than the speed of Chester Pitts.

:logo:

PapaL
09-15-2006, 08:24 PM
Oh yeah? Reggie Bush created is faster than wind. He actually invented it while while running sprints, thus we have wind sprints.

underdog65
09-15-2006, 08:31 PM
Stability is the mainstay of success. Chester Pitts has done a decent job for someone who has moved around so much over his career.

BigDTexansFan
09-15-2006, 08:32 PM
Where did you get this information?

According to the Chronicle, Pitts and Weary are sharing reps at Left Guard and McKinney will start at Right Guard.

Texans Insider, Kubiak announced all 3 RBs Lundy, Dayne and Gado would play and the starting guards will be Pitts and McKinney:yahoo:

phantom17
09-15-2006, 09:03 PM
It's entirely a square peg/round peg thing I believe. The coaches look at him and at film of him and they see a guy who could be, literally a great guard. This is the second staff in a row now that's done it. They know he can play LT but they think based on what they can see, that he'll be a Pro Bowl LG. At best they seem to think he'll be a "pretty good" LT.

I know one thing. I want to see them stick with their lineup one way or the other. It hasn't been doing Chester any favors moving him back and forth over there.


Hmmmmm....this sounds familiar, like a player we recently drafted #1!:confused: