View Full Version : Rough start to Redskins camp

08-02-2006, 07:23 PM
Redskins Disappointed to Discover Antwaan Randle-El isn’t a Quarterback

Washington Redskins training camp opened with a bombshell on Sunday when the team discovered high-priced free agent acquisition Antwaan Randle-El is not a quarterback.

“I jogged out on the field with the receivers and the coaches told me to get over with the other quarterbacks,” said Randle-El. “I was like: ‘What do you mean?’ I thought they were joking. But soon I discovered they were totally serious. And when I told them I’m just a receiver and kick returner – and not a quarterback – they got really pissed. Well, at first they refused to believe it and then they got pissed.”

Redskins owner Dan Snyder says that he had known Randle-El is nothing more than a third receiver he never would have signed him to a six-year, $27 million contract in the offseason.

“I can’t believe I signed a No. 3 receiver to that kind of money,” said Snyder. “That’s quarterback money and I gave it to some midgety little receiver. Are you sure he’s not a quarterback. Are you really sure? I absolutely remember seeing him throw a touchdown pass, a perfect spiral, in the Super Bowl – the biggest game in all of football – and thinking to myself: ‘This is the guy we need to get us over the hump. Someone who can chuck touchdown passes on such a big stage.’ Oh, man. This sucks. Now I’m wishing I had watched more of the game. I just figured he was Pittsburgh’s quarterback and when I heard he was a free agent I demanded we outbid every other team for his services. So does this mean we’re still stuck with Mark Brunell at quarterback? Oh, great. There’s another year in the toilet.”

Head coach Joe Gibbs says he tried to tell Snyder numerous times that Randle-El is nothing more than a speedy third receiver who can sometimes be used to execute a trick plays, but that his boss wouldn’t listen.

“I told him over and over that Randle-El wasn’t worth that kind of money and, more importantly, that he isn’t a quarterback,” said Gibbs. “But he wouldn’t listen. It was like I was talking to a wall. All he’d do is cue up the highlight of Antwaan’s pass in the Super Bowl and play it over and over, laughing to himself and saying: ‘I can’t believe we got this guy! I just can’t believe it.’”


08-02-2006, 08:34 PM
Here is where I fall to the floor and start rolling over from laughing too hard. Randle-El deserves better

08-02-2006, 08:51 PM
This sounds like a load of hogwash to me.

08-02-2006, 09:09 PM
Funny stuff.

08-02-2006, 09:22 PM
This is one of the funniest things I have ever heard!

08-03-2006, 10:10 AM
That might be some of the worst satire I have ever read.