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View Full Version : Texans looking at Mario Williams of NC State for #1


Storm
04-24-2006, 06:31 PM
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HOUSTON--Southern Cal running back Reggie Bush has been the consensus choice for the top pick in this year’s NFL draft since the season ended in January. However, the Houston Texans, who own the top pick, are balking at Bush’s asking price. Reports out of Houston indicate that they may do the unthinkable, and use their prized pick on some nobody defensive end from North Carolina State.

“We are looking at Mario Williams of NC State as a possible alternative to Reggie Bush,” said GM Charlie Casserly. “Williams was a very productive player in college and we believe he is the top defender in the country. He can be a real difference maker. Right now Reggie Bush is being unreasonable in his contract demands, so we think this is a viable alternative.”

Despite the fact that Williams is a nobody and the Texans will be the laughingstock of the NFL if they draft him, Casserly actually seems serious.

“Mario’s nothing to scoff at. He’s a very good, impact player,” Casserly said. “Do you know how many sacks he had last year? 13. That’s a lot. This guy could be the next Lawrence Taylor. You may not have heard of him but that’s only because he didn’t play for a big program like USC or Texas. He also didn’t lateral away the ******* Rose Bowl, for what that’s worth.”

The fact that Matt Leinart and Vince Young will both be available should they decide against Bush has not changed the Texans mind. However, many scouts believe their interest in Williams is a negotiating ploy, and the Texans will still end up with Reggie Bush.

“They’ve been having problems with Reggie and his agent, and I think this is just a way for them to show that they have a little leverage,” said one NFC scout. “I mean, it has to be. There’s no way they can be considering some defensive end from East Butt**** State University. Not with actual difference makers available like Leinart and Young. No, this is just a big ploy. On draft day, Marvin Williamson will be left out in the cold no matter how many sacks he had.”

Some GM’s around the league are hoping the Texans follow through on their threat to draft the obscure nobody from NC State. The New Orleans Saints and the Tennessee Titans own the second and third picks respectively and would love a shot at Reggie Bush should he drop down.

“Oh my God if we got Reggie Bush it would be a miracle,” said a member of the New Orleans Saints front office. “We’ll pay him whatever he wants. Who cares? He’s Reggie frigging Bush. What’s the name of that guy the Texans are talking about right now? Mario Williams? Uh-huh. Sure, whatever you say, Charlie. ‘Mario Williams’ is going to be an impact player in the NFL. I think it’s more likely that he’ll be an impact player for UPS. I hear they need somebody with a great motor to deliver their packages.”

Williams was a virtual unknown until the Texans plucked him out of obscurity. Even if he is a great defender, experts say that drafting an anonymous, nothing stranger like Williams would infuriate the fans.

“Drafting Mario Williams would be akin to packing the franchise in a bus and shipping it to Bolivia,” John Madden said on Sportscenter. “Nobody knows who this kid is and nobody cares. He comes from a university in North Carolina that’s neither Duke nor UNC. It’s not even Wake Forest. NC State? Yea I go there if I want a degree in wood shop. For professional football, I’d go to, oh I don’t know, USC? Texas? Anywhere else in the country?”

He added: “At this point the only thing Williams has going for him is that he didn’t lateral away the ******* Rose Bowl, for what that’s worth.”

http://www.thebrushback.com/nobody_full.htm

ensign_lee
04-24-2006, 06:35 PM
Ah, comedy...

bad
04-24-2006, 06:37 PM
In case anyone didn't know, brushback.com is a parody site. Their Mock Draft is hilarious.

Wolf
04-24-2006, 06:38 PM
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/draft06/columns/story?columnist=smith_michael&id=2419503

Wolf
04-24-2006, 06:40 PM
on the link check out the RB's for the superbowl winners ..interesting

Mr. White
04-24-2006, 06:49 PM
Dude, this is a comedy site that the quote came from. Kinda like the Onion.

bad
04-24-2006, 06:51 PM
RETARDED!!!!!!!!!!!
Mario Williams Has been named the Top Defensive Player since the start of the offseason.
Don't you think N.O. is using that statement as a deflection hoping that would make the texans think twice about drafting mario, so the saints could draft him?

I don't think the Texans are the only team to ever use smoke and mirrors, until draft day. It's like a big game of poker. i'm glad ur not our GM or even the texans parking lot attendant Unreal.

This is a fake news story from a sports parody site. Here's another example:

God Loses Showdown With Bill Belichick

HEAVEN--God, creator of the universe and master of all things living and dead, lost a showdown with Bill Belichick on Sunday, as the Philadelphia Eagles fell to the New England Patriots 24-21. God was working through receiver Terrell Owens, who asked him for a miracle to boost his team over the powerful Patriots. Though God was able to heal Owens’ ankle, his glorious power and omnipotence were no match for Belichick’s tricky 2-5-4 defense.

“Wow, I did my best, but Belichick is pretty good,” said a visibly flustered God after the game. “I always thought I was the best. I’ve battled Satan a number of times and that really gave me a lot of experience overcoming adversity. Coach Belichick was just able to execute better today. Plus, I’m used to resting on Sunday.”
http://www.thebrushback.com/Archives/godloses_full.htm

Bobo
04-24-2006, 07:30 PM
Dude, this is a comedy site that the quote came from. Kinda like the Onion.

The article wasn't even funny. It was poorly written and basically pretty juvenile. Don't these guys have anything better to do than to waste bandwidth like that?

Texans86
04-24-2006, 07:33 PM
The article wasn't even funny. It was poorly written and basically pretty juvenile. Don't these guys have anything better to do than to waste bandwidth like that?

No...but I don't either.

kastofsna
04-24-2006, 07:35 PM
The article wasn't even funny. It was poorly written and basically pretty juvenile. Don't these guys have anything better to do than to waste bandwidth like that?
believe it or not, the site was made JUST to make you mad.

bad
04-24-2006, 07:40 PM
Maybe I should just un-ignore Bobo. You guys keep quoting him anyway, which evades the cloaking device.

Anyway, this one was funny. Bobo saying something was poorly written. That's like the pot calling the kettle a pot.

Storm
04-28-2006, 10:24 PM
I told you so:cool:


Well, I didn't but the Brushback did