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View Full Version : Texans v. Jags: The Toilet Bowl - Part 1


Vance87
11-18-2013, 12:57 PM
That's what my dad used to call it when the Oilers played the Bengals in the mid 90s, near the end.

And now it's the Texans and the Jags...look how far we've come!

Unfortunately, we do have to play this weekend. Lest we forget, the last time the Kitties came into our house, AT 1-8, they dropped 37 on us and took us to overtime. WE WERE 8-1.

So really, seriously, now that we're in this position...can we get a win against the Jags? I'm not even joking. I guess I do enjoy competitive games, which by all accounts this should be. But, competitive in a sad way. Like two crack addicts fighting over a piece of used gum in the parking lot of a McDonald's.

BRING IT!

TheIronDuke
11-18-2013, 01:10 PM
Well they did beat the tacks in Possum Holler so anything can happen. I wouldn't be surprised at all if we lose to them. I guarantee we will be giving up a lot of points regardless because our defense is freaking terrible and can't pressure the QB or, god forbid, actually get a pick. It'll be entertaining regardless and I'll have fun watching the game at home if they win or if they get crushed.

qqert
11-18-2013, 01:14 PM
so, so, so, so.. sad.

http://rack.1.mshcdn.com/media/ZgkyMDEzLzAzLzMwL2VhL0RhdmlkQ3J5LmI1OGM3LmdpZgpwCX RodW1iCTEyMDB4OTYwMD4/df4aa4e0/5f3/DavidCry.gif

Thorn
11-18-2013, 01:42 PM
Whatever. I'll watch like I always do, hoping they kick someone ass for a change. Usually before the game has ended it's totally obvious they are going to lose and I'm back here bitching about it in some ***** thread that's probably a duplicate of a thousand other ***** threads.

That's pretty much how it's gone this season.

mootini
11-18-2013, 02:03 PM
Jags gonna come in and.............................................. show you how bad they are!

mootini
11-18-2013, 02:04 PM
Greg Jones curse!!! HEX! :kitten::kitten::kitten:

Bulls on Parade
11-18-2013, 02:24 PM
My prediction: Jaguars 33, Texans 10

Chad Henne will continue to excel against our defense. He threw for 354 passing yards with 4 TDs and 0 INTs against us in Houston last season. A game the Texans barely pulled out 43-37 in overtime. And we were a much better team at the time.

I also expect Maurice Jones-Drew to have his best game of the season. Just like I mentioned the same for Rashad Jennings a week ago at this time and sure enough I was correct. Also Josh Scobee, one of the better kickers in the league, will connect on four field goals.

The Texans offense will turn the ball over not once, not twice, not thrice but four times, regardless if it's Schaub or Keenum, against an opportunistic Jaguars defense. I expect Jason Babin to have a three-sack game, maybe an INT and forced fumble. He may as well. We drafted him late in the first round back in 2004. As long as he doesn't pull out anybody's hair.

The Texans can't even run the ball effectively on offense. That used to be our bread and butter.

It's going to be an ugly game. I may actually attend this game. I have a couple free tickets from work. Not sure if I can stomach a loss to the Jaguars and hearing a lot of boo birds. But then I keep thinking about possibly owning that first overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft and it cheers me up a little bit.

speedfreek
11-18-2013, 02:38 PM
Schaub starts, 24-6 Jaguars.. Keenum starts, 20-17 Jaguars..

TJ

Norg
11-18-2013, 04:04 PM
Schaub starts, 24-6 Jaguars.. Keenum starts, 20-17 Jaguars..

TJ


what if TJ starts

Vance87
11-18-2013, 04:12 PM
what if TJ starts

31-3 Jags

Sigma
11-18-2013, 04:28 PM
Schaub starts, 24-6 Jaguars.. Keenum starts, 20-17 Jaguars..

TJ

is that 6 a couple of field goals or a TD with a missed conversion?

CretorFrigg
11-18-2013, 04:45 PM
Texans vs. Jags...the two jokes of the AFC. I wonder who outside of Houston and Jacksonville will broadcast this game?

kiwitexansfan
11-18-2013, 05:58 PM
is that 6 a couple of field goals or a TD with a missed conversion?

It's Schaub, that is absolutely 2 FGs

Speedy
11-18-2013, 06:05 PM
is that 6 a couple of field goals or a TD with a missed conversion?

Hey, Randy Bullock has NEVER missed an extra point.

gafftop
11-18-2013, 06:51 PM
Ben Tate bs on this team coming a long way, unless you are talking about how we went from 11-1 to 3-12 the last 15 games.

Corrosion
11-18-2013, 07:18 PM
So these two games will decide who gets Bridgewater and who gets Mariota .... Give me Matthews , Lewan or Irving after a trade back a few spots instead of either.

TejasTom
11-18-2013, 07:24 PM
So these two games will decide who gets Bridgewater and who gets Mariota .... .

The defensive power house known as U of H ended Bridgewater's TD streak.

Showtime100
11-18-2013, 07:33 PM
I'm just glad we won't be the first in their hunting bag. Thanks, Tennessee.

Ghostform
11-18-2013, 08:23 PM
wait so you're telling me they didnt flex this game to sunday night?

chicagotexan2
11-18-2013, 08:50 PM
Is gabbert injured or was he benched for schaubing it up? The bulls on charade will barely even sniff henne and hell carve up this lifeless defense. I think the jagholes will put the cherry on the dog pile of poop season.

Trap_Star
11-18-2013, 09:12 PM
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1307945/hennelol2_medium.gif

Vance87
11-18-2013, 09:34 PM
http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1308539/wadefail_medium.gif

Corrosion
11-19-2013, 12:12 AM
Is gabbert injured or was he benched for schaubing it up? The bulls on charade will barely even sniff henne and hell carve up this lifeless defense. I think the jagholes will put the cherry on the dog pile of poop season.

I'm afraid the Texans will actually win this one despite Henne's heroics .... Keenum will be motivated like never before.

FFS Gary ... you just had to play Schrub didn't you !?! :smiliepalm:

clutch
11-19-2013, 03:01 AM
Please just keep loosing...we need to s**t the bed for ted...

Seegara
11-22-2013, 08:37 AM
Texans 47
Leopards 27
Texans take out their frustration on the lowly Jacksonvillains. But Henne carves some gashes in the defense.

Playoffs
11-22-2013, 10:06 AM
We call our fantasy football league's loser bracket playoff the Toilet Bowl -- winner gets 5% of the pot (~400).

As for this week's "toiletries"....

http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/78/84/ce207c391303ce7b998b2c9d2bb300ce-cat-tries-to-jump-off-toilet.gif

Vinny
11-22-2013, 10:43 AM
Only one team has less wins than the Texans and they are historically awful (http://regressing.deadspin.com/the-historic-suck-of-the-jacksonville-jaguars-1463948531). We are battling this team for the AFC South cellar. :slapfight:

The Jaguars suck this year, everyone knows that. But what if we peel back that superficial layer of suck, and delve deeper into the fetid onion that is the 2013 Jacksonville Jaguars? It's actually astonishing how terrible this team is.

Just how pitiful are the Jags? First, a quick survey. Football Outsiders has kept a running list of the best and worst teams, according to DVOA, since 1989. The 2013 Jaguars are currently ranked as the third-worst team through 10 weeks since 1989, behind the 1993 Buccaneers—a 5-11 team that enjoyed two bye weeks and played 11 games against eventual playoff teams—and the 2005 49ers. Before Jacksonville's first win of the season against the Titans, it was dead last with an overall DVOA of -66.3%. After the win, the Jags "improved" to -62.3%. They are, empirically, nearly the worst in a quarter century.

TejasTom
11-22-2013, 11:44 AM
Only one team has less wins than the Texans and they are historically awful (http://regressing.deadspin.com/the-historic-suck-of-the-jacksonville-jaguars-1463948531). We are battling this team for the AFC South cellar. :slapfight:


This is where we shine...making awful teams look great.

JB
11-22-2013, 11:56 AM
So if the Jags win this game we'll have a 3 way tie for worst team in the NFL?



How ya think the ATL fans are taking their team going from 13-3 to worst suck in the league?

Playoffs
11-22-2013, 12:30 PM
:slapfight:
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/smileys-and-emoticons/beating-and-fighting/smileys-beating-and-fighting-498920.gif

fify

Nawzer
11-22-2013, 12:54 PM
Please just keep loosing...we need to s**t the bed for ted...

Hahaha! This had me laughing out loud.

Showtime100
11-22-2013, 03:01 PM
How ya think the ATL fans are taking their team going from 13-3 to worst suck in the league?

I'm essentially living the nightmare in real time right along with them.

JB!! Well, I'll be.....great to see you man! :photos:

htownfan32
11-22-2013, 03:13 PM
I dunno about you but I'm fairly sure we won't score a TD in the second half.

Double Barrel
11-22-2013, 03:18 PM
Jags gonna come in and.............................................. show you how bad they are!

Watch out, the Texans could make you proud of your team!

You know it's bad when fans compete to out-trash talk their own teams. :thud:

Vance87
11-23-2013, 01:16 AM
As fate would have it my dad got two free tickets to the game (imagine that). I'm such a lucky guy, I get to see the Toilet Bowl in person!!

Suckage or not it'll be my first Texans game so I'll still be excited and cheering :). Or booing ;).

TejasTom
11-23-2013, 10:31 AM
...cheering :). Or booing ;).

Wishy-washy:whip: