It’s report card time!

Much like myself years ago, I’m sure the Texans are hiding in their rooms, waiting to get the paddling of their lives as their parents… er… fans - pore over a lackluster effort. Unfortunately, the Texans don’t have the option of forging a teacher’s signature to get them out of the aforementioned paddling.

Hey, it worked for me until I got caught. (My mother is a teacher, and I clearly wasn’t very smart).

OFFENSE

Quarterback: C
Matt Schaub is an undeniable upgrade over David Carr. You can throw as many statistics as you want to about how they’re similar, or even the same quarterback - but any stats of that kind are deceiving. Schaub knows how to read defenses. He has leadership skills. He throws the ball down field. Carr had none of these abilities. So far, the upgrade hasn’t resulted in the victories as it should have - but it will come. If you’re a longtime observer of the Houston Texans, you can see Schaub move the ball with much more confidence than Carr ever did.

However, there’s one statistic that does not lie. Matt Schaub has thrown for only 5 touchdowns in eight games this season. That might be an acceptable number if the Texans had a dominant running game, or if they had a winning record. That’s obviously not the case, as Schaub has had problems in the red zone. For a team that is among the league leaders in passing, the Texans starter has very few passing touchdowns to show for it. Sage Rosenfels has inflated the numbers with good performances in garbage time - and with that near-miracle against Tennessee - but it does not disguise the fact that something bad happens to the passing game once it gets near the goal-line.

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There’s no reason to “analyze” this disaster. The Texans played another Dom Capers-era game. They had no heart. They seemed totally unprepared to play football. They played soft. They got bullied. Period. They lost 35-10, and it wasn’t even as close as the huge 25-point difference might indicate.

The Ahman Green signing is failing badly
Myself and many others were confused by this signing. I thought he would miss 4-5 games with injury this season, I just didn’t think he would nearly reach that number in the first eight games! Green looked solid in the first couple of games, but since then in the little time he has played, his field vision has been average at best, and he’s had no burst. Yes, the run blocking has not been great - but it wasn’t great today either and Joe Echemandu - who was not good enough to earn a spot with the Oakland Raiders - looks like he needs to be the starter. Will he start? No. Ahman Green will be the starter as long as he’s healthy enough, and since they sunk eight million dollars into him, he probably should be. It’s not time to give up on the guy - but he needs to start earning some of that cash. However, if Green can’t go again next week expect Echemandu to get the start over Ron Dayne. If Echemandu didn’t do enough to push himself to #2 on the depth chart at running back - then I’m really concerned about the coaching staff’s ability to evaluate talent… and their ability to read a newspaper.

Will anyone stand up for Matt Schaub?
In what might be the low point of the season in my personal opinion, the Texans literally stood and watched as Chargers linebacker Drayton Florence obliterated Matt Schaub with a cheap, dirty, helmet-to-helmet hit. Nobody so much as even shoved Florence. I know the Texans organization prides itself in having high-character players who are good citizens - but nobody would accuse anyone on the Houston team of being a ‘thug’ if they’d done………..anything in retaliation. Anything at all. There’s no excuse for not retaliating when someone jacks up your leader. I’m not asking for a dirty hit or anything - well, more accurately that’s the ‘last resort’ reaction I’m looking for. Things that might have been acceptable instead of that would include:

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What a rollercoaster ride it was at Reliant Stadium Sunday. As Vince Young watched from the sideline, emotions for Texan fans went from excitement at the start, to disgust through three quarters, to elation with one minute left, to complete and utter desolation at the end. From a longtime Oilers and Texans fan, I can say without a doubt that aside from the Denver and Buffalo playoff collapses, this was the most heart-wrenching loss in the history of my Houston professional football-watching life. The Ghosts of Oilers Past were in the building in more ways than one.

There are no moral victories, but what do we take away from this loss?
In a losing effort, does one quarter of amazing football by the Texans’ offense negate three quarters of one of the most embarassing offensive performances we’ve ever seen? I’m not sure. I can’t quite bring myself to be overly positive about something like that. Does the defensive collapse on the last Titans drive negate the “bend as much as possible, but don’t break” defense of the first three quarters? No, it does not. If they were a bunch of no-names, or comprised of a bunch of rag-tag rejects - maybe. But not when you have the high-round draft choices the Texans have. They’re better than that… er, they should be.

For fans and observers, we can take some solace in the fact that the team showed some gumption and turned something to be ashamed of into something that showed heart. For the players and coaches - it’s another tough loss. The Capers-era Texans would probably pat each other on the back and say “well we almost got this one.” But this current crop of Texans won’t do that. Whether or not their actions show it, they have a winner’s mentality. Hopefully soon the scoreboard will begin to reflect that as well.

Great Titans defense? Or terrible Texans offense?
The offense was abhorrent. I don’t really care about how great the Titans’ defense is. Yeah, they’re talented - but when you get your heads bashed in the way the Texans did on offense in the first half - you have to look at the coaching as well. In a hypothetical half of football, if you pitted the best NFL defense against the worst NFL offense - even the worst offense should be able to muster more than 24 yards. A lot more, even. You could see the danger signs from the start when coach Kubiak played it ‘cute’ against a tough Tennessee defense. They started out with two short passes to Jacoby Jones that went less than nowhere. From there, longtime Texan fans must have had a very familiar feeling in the pit of their stomachs… one that hadn’t been there since the Dom Capers era.

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Wow, where to start.

The Texans were slapped around the field today in an embarassing loss to division-rival Jacksonville. The Texans now drop to 3-3, which only gets them last place in the tough AFC South. After what looked to be a fast start, the Texans stumbled, sputtered, and stammered their way to an ugly beatdown. So much for the Texans ‘owning’ the Jaguars. Not today.

Credit where it’s due - this Jaguar team is going places
Let’s get this out of the way first. The Jaguars are a playoff team. They have an unspectacular, yet efficient offense that has driven opposing teams crazy with their penchant for clock-grinding drives. Drives, which in turn keep their excellent defense fresh and rested. Oh, and what a defense they have. I’m not going to sit here and spit out a bunch of statistics at you - but the Jaguars defense, specifically against the run - is nothing short of amazing right now. Ahman Green, Samkon Gado, Gayle Sayers, or Barry Sanders - it wouldn’t matter against the Jags during the current roll they’re on.

The Jaguars wanted it more
Jacksonville out-worked Houston all day long. In the second quarter, the Jags had the ball for all but about three minutes. The Jags ran up and down the field, pushing the Houston D-line around with ease. Maurice Jones-Drew ran wild all day, and Fred Taylor got off a 76-yard run early in the game. Drew has a habit of making any defense look bad, and today the Texans were no exception. MJD bounced off would-be defenders, ran through arm tackles, and even unleashed a Karate Kid touchdown celebration. The Texans painted the fence, sanded the floor, waxed on, and waxed off all day - but instead of the hard work paying off in the end, Mr. Miyagi just reached back and punched the Texans in the face.

Even though the Jaguars only got a field goal out of it - the most telling play of the day was probably when Jack Del Rio called for an onside kick late in the second quarter. As the announcers pointed out, the success of the kick was based purely on surprise and video study. As great as the Texans special teams have been this season, they fell asleep at the wheel on that play. It’s probably the easiest onside kick recovery I’ve ever seen a team execute. The score wasn’t nearly out of hand by that time, but you could feel that familiar sense of dread begin to set in. The Jags finished out the half with the ball, then had a six minute-plus drive to start the third quarter. From there, the rout was on.

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